I am going down to critique the ocean...
First of all, let me say that I find your poetry and rhythm quite tantalizing, however,
there are a few things I think you should ponder:
- I would like to suggest using more CRASHING waves. They are far more exciting
than these several lines of mere and humble breakers. Reach! Strive dammit!
Be angry!
- Consider having more dead stinking things washing up on the sand. Perhaps
even a famous model or television personality of some fame and stature.
- A higher salinity content would allow even thin people to float easier.
- More seaweed!
- Is there anything you can do about all of these annoying surfers? A stronger
undertow perhaps?
- Any chance of having a mermaid fin surf in and land at my feet?
- Ever since GPS, we have fewer shipwrecks, I think more rogue waves would
solve this increase in safe sailing.
- I sense that you feel pissed in and dumped on, perhaps you should seek
counseling.
- I know fecal bacteria and medical syringe floaters contaminate you, but you
are still beautiful twice a day.
Anyway, there's my dime's worth. Hang in there. Keep ebbing and cresting. Drop
me a line before the next hurricane party.
Your rhythm slave,
Little Stevie Cucamonga